This is probably the only post that will be from THE Elder Christensen.

If you are reading this you probably know me and are close to me so I won't really describe myself...

But today is Sunday May 02, 2010. I get set apart tomorrow as a MISSIONARY for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints at 8:30 P.M. These last couple days have been a whirl-wind but I still have yet to fully grasp the concept of flying to Brazil Tuesday morning so I'm betting the coming days will just OWN me from the inside out as far as craziness goes. I am so excited to head off into the unknown, and am ready to tackle any challenge that comes my way. My mom and dad taught me right, and I am so thankful to you all of you that prepared me for getting this far. You all know who you are

Anyways the blog that follows will pretty much just be a post of Emails that are from me to my family and friends, and it will be a good way to see me progress through my mission first hand. Even if my emails aren't necessarily to you don't feel weird about reading them. I want as many people to share this experience with me as I can.

God be with all of you until we meet again. You'll need it while you don't have me to bestow my presence upon you. haha. I'll see you all in a couple years.


Send Me A Letter, I Miss You.

Elder Michael Scott Christensen
Brazil São Paulo Interlagos Mission
R. Euzébio de Souza, 121
Jardim Londrina
05638-100 São Paulo - SP

Jan 24, 2011


so it´s been a good 3 months here in the favela. It´s been hilarious. My life here is incredibly similar to an 80´s kung fu movie I watched one time that takes place in new york city. Everyone wearing hammer pants, a relatively self-sufficient economy that is built off of small personal markets and foreigners, and best of all, a lack of police. We had been hearing that police are stationed here, but we had never seen them, but the other day we found them hanging out in the back corner where there are no more houses and no confusion... well done police. Oh, and when the police do show up in kung fu movies they always do really theatricle stuff like spin their guns on their fingers, point uzi´s at people, and of course slap everyone in the face they talk to. That happens here too. The other day, some kids were on the side of the street and the police drove up and just slapped one of them in the face and then searched them all and then left. Confusing, but to me, funny.

One of the kids here I know went on his mission this week. That was pretty cool, except for the fact that he left thursday and his mom literally only stopped crying when she went to sleep between thursday and sunday. Then, probably because of exhaustion, she fainted in church. We ate lunch at her house friday and saturday (woo-hoo, free food) and her mind is full of all of these crazy ideas that the mission is hard and her child will be starving and blah blah blah. So to be sure that my mom is not being rediculous and doing the same thing, lets clear some things up about being a missionary here.

Being a missionary is like summer camp. You get to go do cool activities and stuff like that all the time, and you never worry about money. Everyone loves to feed you, and if you try, you can develope diabetes and get kidney stones and die from obesity all within the 2 years. People try to give you tons of stuff, ask you to take a nap on their couch, tell you they like you more than their own kids, and then cut your hair for free. Then on top of all of that cool stuff, they praise you for all the hard work you do and give you a ride in their car to your next appointment. Even the people that aren´t members of your church. Everyone loves you. And nothing bad ever happens to you. Ever.

So yeah, moral of the story is: crying over missionaries is retarded. They are all having way more fun than everyone else, and everyone should be a missionary because it is the life.

beyond that, all the kids here started calling me frankenstien. I thought that rachael would think that is funny. I am not really sure why they started though. One day they started calling my comp santa clause cause he is fat, and then they were like ``what is your nickname...?´´ Usually everyone is just like ``HEY, GERMAN. COME OVER HERE.´´ so I thought they would settle on german, but no, they chose frankenstien. and thus the name lives on...

Other than that it was a normal week. Taught some people the message of the restoration of the gospel, some accepted the message and the challenge to test and try our words with God, and we´ll pass by their house this week to either hear why they didn´t end up trying to even pray, or why reading the book of mormon and praying about it was the greatest thing that has ever happened to them. It is that easy. I find it interesting when some people will say stuff like ``HOLY COW, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!´´ and explain how our church is the only church that is literally guided by God, and their disbelief that more people don´t get why this is important.

One kid was like ``I prayed for God to show me an answer about the book and in that same moment something indescribable joyful and amazing happened in my heart and I knew it was true. Almost like I was getting filled up like a balloon, but in a really good way. So I went to tell my aunt what happened and she told me she wasn´t that interested in listening to you guys, and my mom and my family said the same thing. I just don´t get why they either don´t beleive me, or why they don´t think God is important.´´ And we just had to tell him that he needs to be patient with them and encourage them to try for themselves. But really my answer is I don´t get it either. It is a fact that anyone who seeks a response will find it, but sadly it is also a fact that the greater population of planet earth seem to be comfortable enough for now. They would rather search for happiness through something else that is temporary and then be confused when they feel that they lack something.

I think sometimes people don´t realize how real all of this stuff is. Why would I waste 2 years of my life telling you about a saviour of the world if his power wasn´t something you can percieve? I get so frustrated when people are satisfied thinking about Christ as some mythical and mysterious character that uses us like chess pieces and plays around with our lives. And I don´t understand how people can pass almost 100 years of their life here on earth being totally uncertain about why they are here and thinking that ``the purpose of life´´ is a profound question to which no one has the answer. It´s sad to me because everything is so simple and the knowledge of the truth can change so much about how good you feel and why you choose the decisions you choose.

So for those who still don´t know, here is a basic explanation of life.

We are here on the earth so that we can be happy forever, but because we are all retarded, we each lost the ability to be 100% happy on our own. One person came here and mended up all the holes we´ll ever make because of our own folly, and then rewrote the rules to be a million times more easy and simple to understand. His name is Jesus Christ, and he ACTUALLY exists. You can be 100% certain of this through divine communication (not meaning hocus pocus smoke and mirrors crap, but a real certainty) and a SUPER easy way to be certain is to go find a mormon missionary and try out what he asks you to do. It something you can do without commitment. If you recieve certainty, woohoo. If not, I am a liar. So go figure it out. I dare you.

I love everyone and specifically to mom, don´t ever cry because it is stupid. k... bye.

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