So given that my ``going to the doctor´´ cat is out of the bag, I´ll tell you the real story because it was freaking crazy. So, due to a cyst, I had to go to the doctor, because it was repeatedly getting infected and making it tough to walk. So cool, whatever.
First of all the doctor´s office was the crazy ritzy dermotologist´s office (I don´t know how to spell that) on Paulista avenue. So we go down there (think that super famous street in new york city with tons of lights and junk) and I felt super uncomfortable about the crazy wealth I was seeing because my area is so different and I thought we´d get robbed. But we didn´t get robbed and we went to the doctor´s office, and due to the location they have strict security. You can only go in if you get cleared at the gate, and they have to have the equivilant of your driver´s liscence number on record. Welllp, my companion lost all of his documents and we didn´t get cleared by security. I did, but I can´t just leave my companion, so we had to go home.
The second time I went there on a division with someone who has documents and we went in and the doctor was this crazy nice japanese lady who is a member of the church. Not only is she a member, but I actually had already unknowingly talked with her about an investigator we have who works in her house as a maid. So we chatted about the investigator and stuff and then she casually told me to ``just cut the cyst off.´´ I asked if she meant like in our house, and she said no, so we scheduled an appoitment at a plastic surgeon on the same street.
SOoooo I went the really early in the morning one morning on another division and the thing took like 20 minutes and wasn´t that bad, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I SAW IT ALL. He just gave me a local anesthetic and started hacking away and I was entranced by it all. So i was just watching him cut me up with the little knife thing and scissors and had this huge urge to smack him to get him to stop, but resisted, and in the end it was done and I was joking with him about how I am traumatized for life and how I look prettier because I had plastic surgery. He didn´t get it, and so I left and just took a bus to the mission office to pick up my companion and go home.
By the time I got home there was SO MUCH BLOOD EVERYWHERE. I honestly thought I was dying, but it was no big deal. I chased my companion around yelling I was a zombie and he freaked out and told me he´d kill me if I got blood on him, so I took a shower and chucked my clothes in the wash. But when I chucked my clothes in the wash, all the blood that was in my clothes leaked out and the water turned super red and was just reeking and I got some epic pictures of that.
But yeah that is about it. I don´t think Gold Bond will help mom, because the whole issue was a bacterial infection and now I have a gaping hole that would sting if Gold Bond got into it. But all in all, one more good story to tell. But I am 100% good and feel zero pain and am working normal. So yeah. And the other funny part is I did all of this saying very little to the president. He knew what I was doing more or less the whole time, but in the end his words were, ``let´s see what you´ve wrought elder christensen...´´ haha. Oh man, brasil is hilarious. They gave me a surgery and didn´t even ask me to come back in ever again to see if it is healing good or not. They were just like, ``welp, we cut a hole in you. bye.´´ and I went home on the city bus. The lack of security in this is really funny to me.
So that happened and we have a baptism this weekend. Good times. what else... I AM AN UNCLE SOON. annnnnd oh. I learned that ``your mom´´ jokes are not okay here in brasil. I don´t really get why, but it is hilarious. You can see a super ugly dude and say, ``hey, it´s your girlfriend´´ and everyone will chuckle and be happy, but if you say ``hey, it´s your mom´´ everyone wants to murder you. so I have been joking around with that from time to time when the time is passing slow. I want to translate that show that is super lame that they had on MTV that was just a bunch of random black dudes and skinny white guys saying ``your mom´´ jokes into portuguese and put it on air here. It would be a hit.